Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Last Days At A KPO/BPO/… (or, How To Make Your Employee Write His/Her Own Pink Slip)

Yesterday, on the local train, I met a friend who had left his job. That is what he told me though I suspected that he got the pink slip. He was with one of the BPO/KPO/service centers of an investment bank (are there any left?) and this is an extract from that conversation:

I : How was it like ?
He : What was what like ?
I : You know, recession, credit crunch, pre-/post-Lehman …
He : (silent)
I : Come on, you know, living with the threat of a pink slip, loss of job, money, …
He : (laughs) Heard that some pensioners in Japan lost some money and a few people in US and Europe.
I : You are being insensitive.
He : (after staring at me for a while) Where I was, we made money. Yeah, we did not get a pay hike but we got bonus. Nearly 30-40% of fixed pay. And for some, an additional bonus to be paid in the course of a year – 100-200% of fixed pay.
I : Wow, if I am getting a lakh as fixed pay, I will get bonus of a lakh or two.
He : Yeah, if you are getting 20 lakhs, you will get as bonus 6-8 lakhs plus 20-40 lakhs. And that’s just for lower management. And, they can’t chuck you out without paying - unless they can prove that you have been bad.
I : (a little dumbstruck) Then …
He : Now, as for pink slips, there are smart ways to get the job done – and, without paying bonus or any severance amount.
I : What ways ?
He : Let’s assume that I am your boss, a non-technical manager, and you are a conscientious employee who reviews/manages the technical work done in the group.
Now, what will I do:

(1) Divide & rule. Make you co-head with another less technical person; I will route all communication and opportunities to that person and neglect your progress.
(2) To the others in the group, you are visibly not even a co-head. Even if the junior associates abuse you in public, I will do nothing about it.
(3) Increase neglecting you to the extent that you do not get a chance to talk to your technical manager for 5-6 months.
(4) Assign tasks/assignments to you that are low on priority, involves heavy work and lots of time.
(5) I will assign to you associates (if any) for projects who are allowed to keep very flexible timing (say, come to office at 11 am, leave for lunch at 1:30 pm, return at 4:30 pm after siesta, etc.). If you still manage to make the associate do some work, I will allow the associate to go for a long vacation – without even asking you. When you have done most of the work and the associate returns after vacation, I will shift you out of leading that project to completion and allow the associate to take credit.
(6) I will do nearly everything without even talking to you – and further, assign you to a new task rejected by others in the group.
(7) I will reject your request for leave – even for 2 to 3 days. If you manage to get the leave application approved, you are assigned a task which has a deadline clashing with your vacation.
(8) Now, if you are still around, you are assigned to a task in the London office for a period of 3-4 weeks. And due to urgency, I will advise you (verbally and never written) to take from India a business visa rather than a work permit. Recent UK immigration rules are fuzzy about this - at least, fuzzy as far as you can gather from local sources. You are going to work in London on your account or someone else’s account on various trading platforms and systems but you will state that you are just going for tutorials or training. Now, will you make it through Immigration at Heathrow airport and will you return to work with me?

I : But surely there are people who take care of employees … like HR …
He : (laughs)

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