Seeking

Looking at the mirrors –
image on image of a dead image,

i’ve searched for simple words
to tell myself and everyone.

The brain numbed -
forbids that -

by endless fears, tears, losing
clarity of what i am.

Determination after insult,
strength ahead of necessity,

joker among those sure of life,
stupid - foolishly fought for right.

Free, inspired, respected, interested,
worthy, loved or hated, happy;

not all virtues – spiteful, threatening;
also – naughty, seeking, desirous.

Wronged at times, cynical always,
flirting with lonely hopeless void;

choices came, chosen;
paths splitting, taken.

Forsaking advice,
threatening surety,

fondling thrill,
facing danger.

Danger, where i am untaught,
that’s the source of my life –

not love nor victory nor respect -
Interest, that selfish desire.